Hey there, non-believers! Enjoy the opportunity to make serious bank during the Rapture later this month by using this print-friendly, rapture-ready will. (See CNN’s story for End Times details.)
This reminds me greatly of when I played EVE Online. Occasionally, people would come onto the forum and complain that the game sucks and that they were leaving. The standard response was always
"Can I have your stuff?"
If you, dear reader, honestly believe the world is ending on Saturday, can I have your stuff? Post a comment below and I’ll get right back to you today or tomorrow about signing a legal agreement to transfer all your assets come Saturday. I’m especially interested in large country mansions and Ferraris anywhere in the Greater London area. If you give me your house and car, I’ll even look after your pets if you find yourself raptured off to heaven. There’s nothing to worry about: I am a hellbound atheist firmly in the service of Satan. If you want to give me your stuff before you to join the super awesome Jesus club, get in contact now!